Update on my Parents

It has been a year since I have had a post. My Dad passed away on July 1, 2009. We kept him out of the hospital for 5 months. If we had not placed him in Lennwood, he would probably have not been with us when 2009 started.

After the first of the year, he was having I think congestive heart failure, so he went in the hospital. Since he was at Lennwood, they took care of all that for us. He stayed for several days and then he was moved to Specialty Hospital. Which was one step up from the Lennwood. He was there for several weeks. We would take my Mom to visit him. They finally returned him to Lennwood. He was weaker and could not get around as much. They also started feeding him a diet where his food was blended. One of the things that he enjoyed was eating and now he was loosing that ability.

One funny thing that happpened during this time. I was over there before supper one day. My Dad usually had us push him to the dinning room. Well he started rolling himself out of the room. In a little while I looked out. He was by the Nurses station. He rolled himself all the way to the dinning hall. I don't think that he did that again. He started using oxygen most of the time. We were no longer able to take him out of the home. In April/May he started making trips to the hospital and then to the Speciality hospital. Each time he was getting weaker and his time at Lennwood would be a couple of weeks.

On my birthday, June 20th they took him back to the hospital When he came back to the home the last time, the home said something about starting hospice. So when they admitted him this time we called the Hospice that Mrs. Whitter's family had used. They came to talk with us and set it up. We did this for a couple of reasons. My Dad was in a great bit of discomfort/pain all the time. He was going down fast. We wanted my Mom and him to be together when he passed.
We had agreed that when he left the hospital he would go back to the home and we would start the hospice.

On Monday, June 22nd, I took Mom to visit my Dad. When we got there, Cheryl and Ryan were there along with Mary Martin. My Dad was very alert and talking. I took a video of that and it is on my Facebook page. I realized that this might be the last time that we would really get to talk with him. Since he was doing so good, I kept Mom there as long as possible. I had to take her to get something to eat since she missed supper. That was the last time that we really got to talk with him. He basically had 3 problems wrong with him. Congestive heart failure, diabetes, and his kidneys functioning. If they got one thing working good then the other things would fail.

We visited everyday, but you could tell he was going down. He did alot of complaining. He was very sick.

On June 30th, they brought him back to the home at about 10p at night. They started 24 hour Hospice care at that point. There was a nurse in the room with him all the time. I went to work on July 1st and kept on calling my sister. They didn't think that I needed to come because they were not sure how long he would last. I think I got off early and got over there as soon as I could. He was breathing very heavy and was on oxygen. I think he knew that I was there. I could see that it was very serious and knew that I could be there a long time. I took Mom to Bestbuy because I needed a charger for my IPhone. We got back and he was still hanging in there. At some point we were going to have to make a decision about feeding him. They were giving him drugs to relax him and he was hanging on.

At about 6p, I decided to go to Taco Bell to get something to eat. I had not gotten out of the driveway, when he took one final breath and was gone. He went very peacefully. I had just sat down to eat, when my brother-in-law, Alvin, called and said that he had passed away. Threw my food away and rushed back to the home. My Dad looked very peaceful and at rest. My Mom was in the room. I am not sure that she knew what happened, but she was there. My Dad was 95 and had lived a very long life.

I was not sure how I was going to handle this. The one thing that I wanted to do that night was wait until the funeral home got there and accompany my Dad until they put him in the hearse. Which I did. That is just me. I was sad and missed my Dad, but realized that he was better off.

Since that was the start of the holiday, we had to wait until Monday to have the funeral. I picked up my Mom. They had not put on the clothes that we wanted and I had them change her. When we got to Cockrell Hill Baptist Church, she didn't have her hearing aids in. This was like 930a and the service started at 10a. I had to speed back to the home to get them. I was not happy about that.

I got right back right at 10p. I am so proud of my sister, Cheryl. She had all of the family wait in the vestibule and we walked in as a family. That was every member of my extended family. The pall bearers were my 2 nephews, Robbie and Ryan, their first cousins, Mike and Kevin, their dads Jimmy and Ronnie. Cheryl had them all sit with our family. I loved that. When I had been a pallbearer for my grandmothers or my aunts and uncles we always set apart from our family.
The preacher was one of their former pastors, who was old. He did a good job. The music director when they were at Hampton Place sang a couple of songs. The last thing that we did was stood and sang, "When We All Get to Heaven." I didn't think that I could do that. But I stood and belted out that song.

I always wondered what you did when someone in your family or friends lost a loved one, especially what to say. I now realize that prayers and just being there meant so much more than what you said. I thought that this whole thing was going to be horrible and something that I wouldn't be able to do. I was surprised the comfort that I felt from my faith.

One other thing about the funeral. Since my Dad was a World War II veteran, we wanted to have a flag drapped coffin. At the cemetery there was an honor guard they played taps and folded the flag to give to my Mother.

List Continues--My parents

3. My parents are 92 and 95. Back in 04, they were living in there own home and my Mom was taking care of my Dad. They had been in the same house where I grew up since 1957.

In 2006, my Mom begin to have some problems and was falling some. She was not as steady as she had been. I have one sister, Cheryl, who is 15 months younger than me. Both of us started trying to help my Mom and Dad more. My sister had started paying the bills and she would take my Mom to the grocery store. When my Dad turned 90, his drivers license expired and he decided to give up driving. My dad is a diabetic and had been using a walker for several years. Then he started using a wheel chair.

Well, the week before, Labor Day, I got a call from the Cockrell Hill police at 1230a. My Mom had fallen and hurt herself. My Dad had called 911 and the Cockrell Hill police had to break in there house. They took my Mom to Methodist hospital. I thought my Mom's speech and mouth was drawn some. They did an xray and found that she had hit her head. They transfered her to Parkland where they had a nuerosurgeon. She had broke her arm and a rib. They also found that she had broken a bone in her neck. She never did complain about her neck, but she ended up wearing a neck brace for almost a year. At Parkland they wanted to send her home like on the second day and she had not been out of bed and at that point was really out of it. She was thinking she was sitting on a ledge outside her window.

We put her in rehab where she stayed until the week before Thanksgiving. My sister was running between the nursing home and our home. I would go over every night and put my dad in bed. Luckily, that worked and neither of us stayed with him at night. We were very lucky.

When my Mom came home, Cheryl stayed over at my folks every night. I would go over and put my Dad in bed and help her when I could. My sister is a champ and did lots of things for my folks. She didn't have a life besides my folks. I tried to help her on weekends. My Dad had been taking insulin since 1992 and my sister was convinced that I could not do that. I would go over on the weekend and do there lunches. That gave Cheryl a break from breakfast to supper.

We did that until the summer of this year. My dad started having some problems. He was throwing up and having diarrhea. Started in May, we would have to take him to emergency and he would stay in Methodist for several days. At one point, my friend Hugh, said that we might start looking at our future options. The time would come where we could not continue like we were. Our health had held up pretty good. We needed to have an alternate plan for my follks.

Well I said something to Cheryl and we both realized that we couldn't continue to do what we were doing. So in June after my dad was in the hospital, we placed them in a nursing home, Lennwood, which is in DeSoto/Duncanville, close to where Cheryl lives. We placed both of them there because my Mom wanted to stay with Dad. Cheryl, was staying all day at the home and both of my parents hated being there. I knew that they would adjust and I could walk out of there and know that they would be taken care of. We didn't have that when Cheryl or I wasn't in there home. We didn't stay there 24 hours a day. Well my folks got the guilt trip to work on my sister and she took them out of the home.

I advised my sister that I couldn't continue to do what I was doing. I needed and she did to have our own life. She found a precious woman to come in and stay with my folks 24 hours a day for Sunday afternoon to Friday afternoon. That worked for like 6 weeks. Both of my parents called her that woman. I don't think they ever called her by her name. My mom didn't like having a stranger in her home. Well one Thursday, I got a call very early from Cheryl that the aid was quitting the next day. My dad had been in and out of the hospital a couple of times. I had been talking with them that my dad needed 24 hour a day nursing care, which we could not provide.

Well this long story needs to come to an end. We placed them both back at Lennwood where they had been before. Cheryl kind of back off in micro managing them. I know they both would rather be at home, but they realized that it wasn't possible any more. Well they are doing great there. I go to see them almost everyday. I haven't missed many days seeing them. We have been taking them out some. My dad is getting harder to get in and out of the car.

I guess one final thing for this post that I would like to say is. The great thing about having my parents around at this age and that I am very thankful for, is both of them basically have good minds for there age. They are both hard of hearing, but I can talk with them. They are aware of there surroundings. They do participate in events at the home. They had a bunch of Christmas parties. I have mixed emotions. I would like for them to be at home, but again when I walk out that door of the home, I do know they are going to be taken care of.

Lets Try this Again

Wow! It has been a while since I posted a blog. I am going to try to do this again. Maybe this time I can keep up and keep blogging.

In the last 4 years since I have blogged lots has happened. I am going to try to start a list and then see where it goes from there.

1. Job wise: I have changed jobs twice. I wanted to work where I would not have to drive my car to work. I got a job at a small travel agency where I could ride the Dart Train. I was there for 10 months and got laid off because they didn't have enough business. There is more to that story. I learned my lesson. 2 weeks later, I had a new job and will have been here for 2 years next April. It is a major travel agency and I am on a large account. I am 61 now. One of the things that attracted me about this agency is, if I retire after 10 years, I continue to pay my same rates for the health insurance. I am 61 now, so I can retire when I am 70. Getting there!

2. The Big Move: When I moved back to Dallas, I was living in Uptown. I thought I had the coolest place to live in Dallas. My lease was up this last January. Going over to my parents house, I would often go thru Downtown Dallas. Post properties where I lived also owned the Wilson Building Downtown Dallas. The building is over 100 years old and Post redid it back in 1999. I didn't think I could afford to live there. Well the day before I was either to have to renew my lease or give Post notice, I was checking there website. They had a list of apartments that was available. They had an efficiency small loft that was going to be available February 1st when I was going to move. The neat thing that it was less than what I was going to have to pay to stay in Uptown. So I decided to move. I had always dreamed about living downtown, but thought I could not afford it.

Well the week before, I was to move Post sold the building to Forrest City which was redoing the Mercantile in Downtown Dallas. I was the first person to sign a lease with Forrest City because the Mercantile had not opened. It was a learning process for both of us. I am getting some subsidized housing from the city of Dallas, for folks that can't afford the price of living in Downtown. I am loving living down there. If I get this thing to working again. I will tell you more about it.

My biggest fear since I got such a good rate was that they were going to jack the rent. Well for this next year, my rent will stay the same. I am not moving. That was a big relief. I started the process to get qualified back in September, so I finally could kick back and not worry.

Ok this post is long enough. Look for more and I really want to get back into doing this.

Tuesday's Diary

Tuesday I walked 5 miles in the morning. That is my usual routine. I did it in about 76 minutes. I tried putting ice on my knee for the first time. My knee has been sore for about a month. My mom has tendenitus in her shoulder and her doctor told her to put ice on it so I thought I would try the same thing. Work went ok. After supper--hey I am in Texas--I walked up to McKinney to Severines Bar--Post Properties was having a happy hour there. I talked with Dana and Scott from the care team. They are Jewish--Dana is working at Central Market. Then I made a loop and walked down to Allen and back to my apartment. Post properties have a bunch of events for there residents and I do like to go to them.

I know I am a couple of days behind. But I do want my blog to be my diary.

Why the Fog

I am a travel agent for a major US company. I make domestic air reservations. I have been with my present company for 6 months. The folks that sit around me tell me all the time that a fog surrounds my desk. This afternoon I thought one of my bosses who just started on Monday first name was Rick-well his name Guy. The last reservation that I booked was a hotel. I had booked a Holiday Inn, when I recapped I told passenger it was a Days Inn. Now do you know why the Fog. I might say that my Gay life is not in a Fog anymore.

Daily Diary-How to add a picture to my profile

I have a friend named Hugh that is about 10 years older than me. He has been keeping a daily diary for like 50 years. He has his own form. It is a calender with spaces where he can add remarks for each day. I think he has a good abbreviation system and different things are color coded. I have always wanted to do a diary but that is just not me. I am hoping that this blog will be my daily diary.

I really want to add my pic to my profile, I downloaded the blog thing and tried to put my pic on my profile, but as you can see it didn't work. Help someone!

My profile and blog

Ok what do you think of my blog and my profile so far? Are there any other gay Christians in Dallas? Please let me hear from you. I am not sure if this is how you do this, but thought I would give it a try

Beheading of US Citizen

Today at work I read about the beheading of the US citizen in Iraq. I am a Democrat and have been opposed to the war in Iraq. I am sure that you will hear more of my rantings about little George. I don't believe that the US should have invaded Iraq. I am deeply sorry that the American was killed. George if you are reading this--I am not Al Quida or an enemy of the US. I do believe that you should not be in office. Anyway I am sure that I will write more about this. As long as Americans are in Iraq we are going to have some major conflicts with the radical terrorists. I am all for getting out of Iraq--Our country does not need to loose another American. As long as the abuse of the Iraq prisoners continue or we hold people just prisoner just because we can do this--then more Americans are going to loose their lives.

My first Blog

This is my first blog. I am very new at this but I have seen other blogs and always thought this would be interesting to create my own blog.